The 10 Commandments of Floating on a Minnesota Lake

There is no better way to spend a hot Saturday afternoon than floating on a sunshine drenched lake in Minnesota. I go for floats every chance I get, and am known in my family for my eccentric choice in floaties (unicorn, pizza slice, potato chip bag, the list goes on.)

There are certain rules to keep in mind when going for a float to really maximize this experience. Here are the 10 Commandments of Floating on a Minnesota Lake

  1. Thou Shall Provide Thy Own Floatie
    Don’t come around expecting hand outs. If you know you are spending some time by the water, always have an emergency inflatable inner tube tucked away in your vehicle.
  2. Thou Shall Blow It Up Yourself
    Or at least attempt to help blow it up. Just don’t hand it to the guy who knows how to run the air compressor or hand pump and expect him to do it for you. If you want to chill the most, you gotta put in the work.
  3. Detach From All Worldly Possessions
    No one wants to hear about you dropping your phone in the lake. Leave everything that isn’t your beverage on shore.
  4. Invite Thy Neighbor
    We have the best lake neighbors, and it isn’t just next door. Our whole bay area of the lake will launch off on floaties and meet in the middle to hang out.
  5. Thou Shall Not Covet Other’s Cup Holders
    You made your own decision on what floating apparatus to sit upon. Learn your lesson and pick one with a cup holder next time.
  6. Thou Shall Not Tip
    …others off their floatie. Don’t be rude.
  7. Bring Thine Own Beverages
    Along the lines of the first commandment, don’t be a mooch. Also volunteer to grab drinks for others if you go into shore on a beer run.
  8. Honor Thy Sunscreen Regimen
    The sun has even more power bouncing off of the water’s reflection. Be sure to layer on the sunscreen and keep layering it on.
  9. Remember Thy Manners at the Public Access
    Some lakes don’t have public beaches. When launching off from the public access, give boats adequate room to launch and dock. Don’t be the jerk blocking it for people trying to get on the water.
  10. Thou Shall Relax
    A lake float has no place for any kind of stress. On the water it all melts away. Feel the warm sun, the cool water, and the gentle rocking of the waves. Let it wash your worries away.

Bonus Commandment: To Thine Own Lake Be True. Interpret that one however you like.


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